Q17: Life With Charley – Back to School, Ain’t That Cool?

Change is difficult for all of us, especially those who think in a concrete terms.  Routine helps our kids feel safe.  Moving, new schools, a parent going on a trip, are transitions that are especially difficult.

We all like the familiar—without it, we would have no grounding. Charley is no different. Moving means messing with his infrastructure. Time and time again I’ve seen him rise to the challenge. But relocating from Coker Creek wasn’t just a move. It was recoil. And try as we might to explain the reasons behind the move, it didn’t make sense to him. All he knew was that he didn’t get a vote. The move was happening, and there wasn’t one thing he could do about it. P. 260

How difficult are transitions for your child?

There are different schools of thought about attachment between children with special needs and their parents.

Every six months when time for residency rolls around, I look into that sweet face and tell Charley I’ll only be gone for a few short days. I fake that it isn’t killing me to leave him, and I ask him to give me a smile. “Fake it if you have to,” I say. And he does. He cries, and he smiles. And so do I.

“But Mommy, I miss you,” he says.

“I’ll miss you too.” I put my arms around him and hug him for a long time, and he puts his arms around my waist and cuts off my circulation. Pp. 272 – 273


Does your child spend time away from you?  How does he/she handle separation?

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