Wyllie’s birth story is difficult to read. Considering the fact that Andrew was born 1959, what are your reactions to how the doctor broke the news?
How about her reaction to seeing him for the first time?
“I waited anxiously for the nurse to bring him from the nursery. I had seen him only briefly, and then he was bundled up in blankets. Now with my dreams of a beautiful and perfect child cruelly shattered, I had mixed emotions when I looked at the tiny object in its hospital bassinet. It was ugly. In addition to the features that the doctor had described, the cheeks were plump with funny, full jowls covered in a kind of furry fuzz. But this strange thing was a baby- our baby. He breathed and squirmed. He made little gurgling noise and opened his mouth, searching for food. He was soft and warm to touch, and when I held him, carefully supporting his wobbly head, my nostrils were filled with the sweet perfume of baby lotion and talcum powder. How could we discard such a little creature? He was a human being. As a mother I felt an inescapable urge to protect and comfort him.” P. 22
Do you remember seeing your child for the first time? Did you have confused feelings from what the doctors had told you and what you felt for your child?
How do you feel about the parent’s decision to change the baby’s name?
Did you feel guilt similar to what Romy described? Did you look back over your pregnancy to try to find something “wrong” that you did to cause your child’s Down syndrome? Did you feel that God had punished you and / or did you feel “chosen” for a special reason?
I knew when I carried her she was someone very different. I new the moment she was free the instant I saw her face she was going to be soul changing. I keep looking at her hand thinking what is it that I read about a Simeon line, not even thinking how horrible a name for her precious hands. The midwife left the room and came back while I was concealing my panic, frantically searching for an answer. The midwifed first words returning were, “God doesn’t give us more than we can bear.”
I found that a monstrous statement, and later it was yet another thing to thank Kate for…understanding and untangling the story of God. Having the power to fix and create anything but creating and allowing all the sorrow we see. Not logical. She was the evidence of what was real in this life.
She was my teacher.
I thought DS was caused by my constant grief and stress, and perhaps it was. No matter what the reason
I am honored to be in her life. She is my why. She is a mystic and the reason I know how to love. Her birth brought me the meaning of life. To give with wild abandon and love clean without expectations.